Thursday, June 11, 2009
So now that I'm into my 30s, I've noticed changes occuring all around me. My kids are all of a sudden not babies anymore, my husband is enjoying the process of coming into his own, my friends are truer yet more sporadic, my dog is old, my body takes longer to recover from things, television has less and less good on it, my dishes are chipping, my yard actually matters to me, people getting married look younger, it's harder to say bye to my grandparents, our food budget is increasing, it's easier to get rid of "stuff", time is of utmost importance now, and the list could go on and on. Through all this change, I find myself wondering how I fit into the picture that is my life. It's a hard thing to grow up. You view yourself a certain way for a very long time, and then suddenly you look around, and your view of self doesn't quite fit in or match your present reality. I'm wiser, more experienced, and at peace, but it's not an easy thing to change. The dreams you had as a kid, teenager, college student or as a newlywed- some have been fulfilled and are fantastic, and some are still there, waiting to be realized. But how in the world do you make time for your past to meet with your present? It's still a mystery to me. Finding myself as a unique individual self apart from the different roles that I also am has been/is quite the journey-- mostly thrilling and happy, but sometimes confusing and sad. I know that the God who holds me now is that same God that held me 32, 15, 10 years ago, and the same God that will hold me as I continue to age and mature! What a joy that is to me, and what a thrill to know I'm not alone on this ride!